Result?? Oh No, I’m Suffocate again!!
My SPM result will coming out soon...
Got me asking question in my head ,,How my Result going to be??
I 'm scared and suffocating..
9G?? that 's I always scared of...Especially when in about "Mathematic"...sincerely,, I 'm not good in that "s**t"..
Scared and abashed suddenly pop out in my head and heart...they haunting me till I couldn't sleeping at night everyday of my life ..
"The day" are closer and faster that I though..
How? What? Should I explain if I'm failed? Someone tell me how's??
I cannot lie or being trustless ..Especially to my mom and dad...and to my "Yap" family either..they are hopping me so much...for them ,,I'm the best in education from my the other's cousin..They always proud on me..hence ,,I can't bear to see their faces when I'm saying I'm failed in my examination ..I rather to take a bullet straight through my brain... so then, I don't need to concern about anything, anyone or future....
I'm sorry,,because i know that what my result will gonna be,, even the result haven't coming out yet..but believe me,,the truth is my result are not going to be "excellent" and "great" that all of you though...Yes, I 'm 100% certain that... Ain't because of i'm didn't give my best in exam, and ain't because I'm careless about that...I'm sorry, I could not explain why.. Because it's something that I can't describe in words...I just don't know...
please,,don't hopping and depend on me too much.. Because at the end,, There only can bring you disappointed and huge of shame...seriously, I can't take that dependability..Because it's too hard and too much for me..My chest and head containing a lot of pressure and tension till it cause me breathless sometime...
I do not have anymore words to all of you to explain my unsuccessful...
All I can say is....I'm sorry because of your disappointed and bring you so much of deplore..
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Friday, February 25, 2011
what a big shame!
what a big shame!
on 22-2-2011,,while i'm sitting at bus stop,,
a school van stop by, there alot of kids are looking at me while that school van are fetching a one of a students which are studying in my school too..
i wondering why they are looking at me and laughing so hardly? so, because of i'm busy for talking to F.A, i just ignore them..
after for a while,, when F.A telling me that my pant zip unclosed then i realized, no wonder that the kids are laughing so hard just now...emm...what a big shame !!! since when?? would it since from morning? when i'm in the school?? in the school canteen??? arrhhhh!!! nooo,,
i really wish that my zip are closed well when i'm in the school just now...
i feel better when i remember that i did " check " when i step in the school...so maybe that's only happen when i'm at the bus stop..
but howcome i ....
got this huge of embarassing infront F.A???
Arrrrrhhhhhhh!!!!! gods,,,,what did i done??????
p/s-thanks syg(fatin amira) for reminds me about that...
on 22-2-2011,,while i'm sitting at bus stop,,
a school van stop by, there alot of kids are looking at me while that school van are fetching a one of a students which are studying in my school too..
i wondering why they are looking at me and laughing so hardly? so, because of i'm busy for talking to F.A, i just ignore them..
after for a while,, when F.A telling me that my pant zip unclosed then i realized, no wonder that the kids are laughing so hard just now...emm...what a big shame !!! since when?? would it since from morning? when i'm in the school?? in the school canteen??? arrhhhh!!! nooo,,
i really wish that my zip are closed well when i'm in the school just now...
i feel better when i remember that i did " check " when i step in the school...so maybe that's only happen when i'm at the bus stop..
but howcome i ....
got this huge of embarassing infront F.A???
Arrrrrhhhhhhh!!!!! gods,,,,what did i done??????
p/s-thanks syg(fatin amira) for reminds me about that...
The Loneliness inside your eye
The Loneliness inside your eye
Well, I can see loneliness in your eyes sweetie, I can feels deeply by the way you hugging me ..
I’m Sorry, I wish I could figure out what I do to make it go back, like we always did before..
Did you know that you’re such a sweet and lovely girl?
I really respect and love (a lot) you as my sister.. yes , I really did..
I know that you will never ever show up your lonely..And I know you will never telling people about that..Wasn’t you? I’m sorry that the loneliness are killing you so bad.. i can see it when I meet you when you’re waiting for your mom to fetch you to go back home.. as usual, waiting under a big trees in front of our school gate..
I can’t believe I can’t recognize you when you walk out from the school gate..maybe that because we both didn’t meet for each other for a long time then until this situation may be happen..but my heart telling me that, that’s was you..so,i'm shout to call your name,, then, you turn up your head and look at me.. you walked at me and sitting beside me at the bus stop..
After we been talking for a while, is time for you to go home.. well have to admit that Is difficult for me when you need to leave me because your mom arrived to fetch you, and I know that my situation is same as you.. you feel that too isn’t it? You hugging me for a last time before you leave and saying that you love me,, After you been in the car, you open up the window and blows me your loving kisses…
it really hard to say good bye...but...anyway.."goodbye sweetie"...
p/s- don't misunderstanding, i love(alot) her as a sister of mine and friend..
Well, I can see loneliness in your eyes sweetie, I can feels deeply by the way you hugging me ..
I’m Sorry, I wish I could figure out what I do to make it go back, like we always did before..
Did you know that you’re such a sweet and lovely girl?
I really respect and love (a lot) you as my sister.. yes , I really did..
I know that you will never ever show up your lonely..And I know you will never telling people about that..Wasn’t you? I’m sorry that the loneliness are killing you so bad.. i can see it when I meet you when you’re waiting for your mom to fetch you to go back home.. as usual, waiting under a big trees in front of our school gate..
I can’t believe I can’t recognize you when you walk out from the school gate..maybe that because we both didn’t meet for each other for a long time then until this situation may be happen..but my heart telling me that, that’s was you..so,i'm shout to call your name,, then, you turn up your head and look at me.. you walked at me and sitting beside me at the bus stop..
After we been talking for a while, is time for you to go home.. well have to admit that Is difficult for me when you need to leave me because your mom arrived to fetch you, and I know that my situation is same as you.. you feel that too isn’t it? You hugging me for a last time before you leave and saying that you love me,, After you been in the car, you open up the window and blows me your loving kisses…
it really hard to say good bye...but...anyway.."goodbye sweetie"...
p/s- don't misunderstanding, i love(alot) her as a sister of mine and friend..
Thursday, February 24, 2011
I want nobody but you!!
I want nobody but you!!
On 22-2-2011, I met you again.
I'm so happy until no other words that I can say and describe..
I did wait for you for a damn long time...but after I saw you ,, I guess it's worth.. Because same as you,, you are wait for me too..i really appreciate that.
dear sunshine, before i met you , i went to shop for find something that i could give you but yet it's memorable ...after that, I decide to buy ferrero for you and card...I hope you will love it..
I saw your smile again, and yet i did saw your fierce face again...oh god, sometime I really wondering that why you always do that..But you said it's can make me stop talking for a while, so then you can start talking..
hahaha... I know,, I'm a talkative...but what to do ,,emm... I love talking, especially when I’m with you...hahaha.. Then I said I miss you but you just pretend like you didn't hear it's... Guessing that maybe you just try to fooling me huh? damn, you try to make me shy don't you?? humm...
p/s- pink are totally Is your favorite colour don’t you? Thank you because you didn’t hate me even people are gossip and talking about me and you.
On 22-2-2011, I met you again.
I'm so happy until no other words that I can say and describe..
I did wait for you for a damn long time...but after I saw you ,, I guess it's worth.. Because same as you,, you are wait for me too..i really appreciate that.
dear sunshine, before i met you , i went to shop for find something that i could give you but yet it's memorable ...after that, I decide to buy ferrero for you and card...I hope you will love it..
I saw your smile again, and yet i did saw your fierce face again...oh god, sometime I really wondering that why you always do that..But you said it's can make me stop talking for a while, so then you can start talking..
hahaha... I know,, I'm a talkative...but what to do ,,emm... I love talking, especially when I’m with you...hahaha.. Then I said I miss you but you just pretend like you didn't hear it's... Guessing that maybe you just try to fooling me huh? damn, you try to make me shy don't you?? humm...
p/s- pink are totally Is your favorite colour don’t you? Thank you because you didn’t hate me even people are gossip and talking about me and you.
Friday, February 18, 2011
对不起，情人节快乐。
对不起，情人节快乐。
虽然是说我和你只是一个认识了5年的好朋友，但是，能和你一起渡过这浪漫的日子虽然是会有点尴尬，但我很开心。在这，我想要再次的和你道歉关于我迟到的那件事。可是，幸好你有你的堂姐陪你，我心里才会好过一点。
亲爱的“咖啡”，毕业了还能再次看到你心里真的很开心又兴奋。但是，我不知道为什么我的伤悲遮住了我的快乐.
even I did told myself that I need to be happy when I’m meeting you and keep my smile always on my face when ever you looked at me.. 应该是我为了“那天所发生的那件事”还放不下。结果，被你注意到了，然后.....
你就问我-“你怎么了”？
（心里想，一定是被你发觉到了。）
我就说-“没有啦，我只是累了一点”。
然后，当我看着你的眼睛，你好想不太相信我又好想在想些什么。亲爱的你，你想什么都好，请你不要想我和你出去是一件我不开心的一件事。
可是在怎么说，对不起，我对你说了谎，心里真的感到很对不起你。
看着你为了你的所爱的人那么努力和细心的选“球衣”（送给爱人的情人节礼物），真让我羡慕又无奈。为了那件球衣，我们简直就像在城市里赛跑嘛！老实说，我真的有点累，但为了不要在你脸上保持住那“幸福和快乐”的消失。我再怎么累，我也会陪你底。
到了一段时间，你应该是看到我越走越没力，你就问我-“你累了吗？”
你可知道我当时真的很想说“是，我累了，我们可以坐一下吗？反正，时间还早，不用怕没的买。”可是，我却没那样说，我只是对着你“点头”。你就笑着对我说-“你要不要坐先”？我就知道你应该是觉的对不起我了，为了让你好过一点，我就说-“没关系，谁叫你是我的好姐妹，再怎么远我都陪你走。”
走到pavillion的走廊，看到一堆人那着“爱心气球和字条”（男主角），很有耐心的等着（女主角）出来向她求婚。但就是因为时间的原因，你还是转头走人，你说你很羡慕，改次也要这样做。希望你的男朋友也那样的向你结婚，在旁的我，对你的这个要求好像难以实现。（咖啡，还是你不要发梦比较好）
无奈的我，看到有人拿着篮子卖玫瑰花，突然间心里想买一朵给你，当作我和你第一次出街庆祝情人节的礼物。可是我不知道怎样要送给你，只好先拿着（有多尴尬）。当你问到我手上的花是要送给谁的时候，我只好先说-“是要送给我的妈妈的花”。心想还是等你忙完才给你。
走了大半天，你最后也得到了你想要又满意的一件球衣。买完了过后，我打算陪你走到一半然后想一个人的静一静，调好心情才回家。看到你在忙着讲电话的你，心想这应该是舍当的时间和你和你的堂姐说声“再见”。当我下楼要往着一间华人餐厅喝杯茶的时候，果然那间餐厅就快要关店了。无奈的我，怎么真倒霉啊。
当我转头要出去（往上走）的时候，就看到你匆匆茫茫的下楼梯（幸好没跌到），好奇的我就问你-“你在干吗？”
你就说-“我在找你啊！”
那时刻的我真的被你的所作所为吓到又感动。因为原来你真的那么的在乎我，真的那么关心我。亲爱的咖啡，虽然是说，我和你在学校都在忙各人的事情所以没什么有机会讲话。但，你从来没忘记关心我，一直到现在。当我每一次难过的时候，需要一个人来陪我“说话”的时候，不管时间有几夜，只要当每一次我打电话给你的时候，你都会陪我。如果我在外面太夜，你都会劝我回家，确保我安全到家你才放心。
亲爱的咖啡，我相信我也许会让你觉得我是一个“不听话”的人。可是，表面上我都不要给你看到一个“不肯输也不要给人劝告的人”。我承认我是一个固执又野蛮的人，可是事实上，每一次你劝我的话，我都有听。你叫我回家，我就回。叫我不要做“愚蠢”的事情，我都没做。对我而言，你就是我的好朋友和好姐姐。如果有人问我，我的人生中最一件事是什么？我会说我的人生中最幸运的一件事就是有你那么关系我的人。
结果，因为你的弟弟在等着你的关系，你就叫我和你的堂姐在A&W餐厅等你。当我和你的堂姐到了不久后，你就带着你的两位弟弟于我们见面。点了食物，我们就到楼上用餐。看你时不时的看着我，心里猜你应该知道我心里不开心了，你可知道我一直以来最怕的就是你那仔细的眼睛。结果，我就一直逃避不看你的眼睛。就是因为我不肯看下去，怕你知道了会问我“多多”。虽然知道你是关心我，可是，我的着`“悲伤和烦恼”只有我自己去疗和解决。所以，我只好“再次”和你和你的家人道别后，临走前，就把我买的那朵玫瑰花送给你，你对我说完谢谢后，还没忘记向我交代到家后就打电话给你，因为你要确保我已经平安的到家。
当我路程回着家当中，在驾车的我想着很多东西越想越头痛甚至心里也烦到到不行。本来打算要去找个地方来解解心情和烦恼。到最后，我还是听你的话，还是回家了。到家后，我就立刻发短讯给你来报平安。
谢谢你，我知道我从来没对你说这句话。应该是我不知道要怎么对你说。可是，相信我这句话，我一直受在心里不能说出口的话。我想谢谢你对我的关心，对我脾气的耐心，还有谢谢每次对我的安全而担心。谢谢你朋友！
虽然是说我和你只是一个认识了5年的好朋友，但是，能和你一起渡过这浪漫的日子虽然是会有点尴尬，但我很开心。在这，我想要再次的和你道歉关于我迟到的那件事。可是，幸好你有你的堂姐陪你，我心里才会好过一点。
亲爱的“咖啡”，毕业了还能再次看到你心里真的很开心又兴奋。但是，我不知道为什么我的伤悲遮住了我的快乐.
even I did told myself that I need to be happy when I’m meeting you and keep my smile always on my face when ever you looked at me.. 应该是我为了“那天所发生的那件事”还放不下。结果，被你注意到了，然后.....
你就问我-“你怎么了”？
（心里想，一定是被你发觉到了。）
我就说-“没有啦，我只是累了一点”。
然后，当我看着你的眼睛，你好想不太相信我又好想在想些什么。亲爱的你，你想什么都好，请你不要想我和你出去是一件我不开心的一件事。
可是在怎么说，对不起，我对你说了谎，心里真的感到很对不起你。
看着你为了你的所爱的人那么努力和细心的选“球衣”（送给爱人的情人节礼物），真让我羡慕又无奈。为了那件球衣，我们简直就像在城市里赛跑嘛！老实说，我真的有点累，但为了不要在你脸上保持住那“幸福和快乐”的消失。我再怎么累，我也会陪你底。
到了一段时间，你应该是看到我越走越没力，你就问我-“你累了吗？”
你可知道我当时真的很想说“是，我累了，我们可以坐一下吗？反正，时间还早，不用怕没的买。”可是，我却没那样说，我只是对着你“点头”。你就笑着对我说-“你要不要坐先”？我就知道你应该是觉的对不起我了，为了让你好过一点，我就说-“没关系，谁叫你是我的好姐妹，再怎么远我都陪你走。”
走到pavillion的走廊，看到一堆人那着“爱心气球和字条”（男主角），很有耐心的等着（女主角）出来向她求婚。但就是因为时间的原因，你还是转头走人，你说你很羡慕，改次也要这样做。希望你的男朋友也那样的向你结婚，在旁的我，对你的这个要求好像难以实现。（咖啡，还是你不要发梦比较好）
无奈的我，看到有人拿着篮子卖玫瑰花，突然间心里想买一朵给你，当作我和你第一次出街庆祝情人节的礼物。可是我不知道怎样要送给你，只好先拿着（有多尴尬）。当你问到我手上的花是要送给谁的时候，我只好先说-“是要送给我的妈妈的花”。心想还是等你忙完才给你。
走了大半天，你最后也得到了你想要又满意的一件球衣。买完了过后，我打算陪你走到一半然后想一个人的静一静，调好心情才回家。看到你在忙着讲电话的你，心想这应该是舍当的时间和你和你的堂姐说声“再见”。当我下楼要往着一间华人餐厅喝杯茶的时候，果然那间餐厅就快要关店了。无奈的我，怎么真倒霉啊。
当我转头要出去（往上走）的时候，就看到你匆匆茫茫的下楼梯（幸好没跌到），好奇的我就问你-“你在干吗？”
你就说-“我在找你啊！”
那时刻的我真的被你的所作所为吓到又感动。因为原来你真的那么的在乎我，真的那么关心我。亲爱的咖啡，虽然是说，我和你在学校都在忙各人的事情所以没什么有机会讲话。但，你从来没忘记关心我，一直到现在。当我每一次难过的时候，需要一个人来陪我“说话”的时候，不管时间有几夜，只要当每一次我打电话给你的时候，你都会陪我。如果我在外面太夜，你都会劝我回家，确保我安全到家你才放心。
亲爱的咖啡，我相信我也许会让你觉得我是一个“不听话”的人。可是，表面上我都不要给你看到一个“不肯输也不要给人劝告的人”。我承认我是一个固执又野蛮的人，可是事实上，每一次你劝我的话，我都有听。你叫我回家，我就回。叫我不要做“愚蠢”的事情，我都没做。对我而言，你就是我的好朋友和好姐姐。如果有人问我，我的人生中最一件事是什么？我会说我的人生中最幸运的一件事就是有你那么关系我的人。
结果，因为你的弟弟在等着你的关系，你就叫我和你的堂姐在A&W餐厅等你。当我和你的堂姐到了不久后，你就带着你的两位弟弟于我们见面。点了食物，我们就到楼上用餐。看你时不时的看着我，心里猜你应该知道我心里不开心了，你可知道我一直以来最怕的就是你那仔细的眼睛。结果，我就一直逃避不看你的眼睛。就是因为我不肯看下去，怕你知道了会问我“多多”。虽然知道你是关心我，可是，我的着`“悲伤和烦恼”只有我自己去疗和解决。所以，我只好“再次”和你和你的家人道别后，临走前，就把我买的那朵玫瑰花送给你，你对我说完谢谢后，还没忘记向我交代到家后就打电话给你，因为你要确保我已经平安的到家。
当我路程回着家当中，在驾车的我想着很多东西越想越头痛甚至心里也烦到到不行。本来打算要去找个地方来解解心情和烦恼。到最后，我还是听你的话，还是回家了。到家后，我就立刻发短讯给你来报平安。
谢谢你，我知道我从来没对你说这句话。应该是我不知道要怎么对你说。可是，相信我这句话，我一直受在心里不能说出口的话。我想谢谢你对我的关心，对我脾气的耐心，还有谢谢每次对我的安全而担心。谢谢你朋友！
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